Love Feels So Wrong
by Megzzerr
Summary: She Loved A Hardy, But Strangely It Was Not The One She Was Marrying.Lita/Jeff Hardy


**Disclaimer-I Own No Characters All Belong To WWE Or Themselves**.

I sit here on her bed, sighing as i see her getting her make-up and hair ready for the biggest day of her life, and i guess in a way it was mine too, i was the one giving her away!, pfft yeah i was giving her away but in more ways than one.....i was giving the woman i love away to someone else...and that someone else just happened to be my brother.....my brother!!!! the man she was marrying in a few hours!!!

I did feel guilty because i love Matt hes my flesh and blood, but im in love with her........im in love with Amy and nothing i do is gonna change the way i feel about her.I guess it all started in 2001 when me and Matt wernt really getting along and Ames and Matt were having problems with their relationship.  
Me and Ames had been best friends since we started wrestling and always talked about everything and anything to each other, we shared are problems about Matt and then after the RAW where Matt broke up with Amy, i was there for her like i had always been, we shared a hotel room that night and even though we were drinking we both knew what we were doing and then she kissed me.........

"Jeff im so sorry i didnt mean to-"She said before i interupted her with a kiss of my own.I had always wanted to kiss her, but i couldnt she was Matt's girlfriend, but then they broke up so i went for it, it was all fair game but yeah i did feel guilty man, but i was crazy about her, always had been.  
The next few weeks were awkward with Matt and Amy, i had to listen to him talk about Amy and then they decided to give it another shot, and Me and Matt got back together as a tag team again........everything was great in the ring but outside it killed me to see her with him, i used to get so angry when he'd kiss or even touch her infront of me, yeah he's my brother but when he did that i felt like kicking the crap outta him...even though she wasnt mine, me and Amy never talked about the kiss until Matt was gone on a promotion tour in europe and me and Ames were still on the road......one night after a PPV i asked how things were between them.

"Its going ok i guess, its just........im not sure i feel the same about him anymore."Amy said frowning but looking like she was relieved she'd told someone.  
so what are you saying exactly.i said not knowing what else to say."I guess i should tell you..........im falling for someone else Jeff.........its you.  
she said sighing......."I shouldnt have told you but i cant stop thinking about our kiss, ive tried avoiding you but i dont want to avoid you, you're my best friend and i need you in my life, when i stopped talking to you, i just wanted you more....im sorry"Amy said for what i said.....im glad you told me.I said hugging her...........then it got too much and we kissed again but this time it led to more than kissing.....and that night we slept was the best night of my felt so right to have her in my arms and even though i knew it was wrong....i couldnt help myself she was supposed to be with me not were on and off since 2001 we tried to stop, but we could'nt we wanted each other, we loved each other, but neither of us ever said that because then it would really complicate things.......but really things were as complicated as it was ever going to be.....we had been together touched each other, kissed each other.....and we never regreted finished the night after we slept together.  
we swore that would be the first and last time we spent the night together, i tried to move on with Trish and i was happy for a while, Amy and I became distant from one another to try and fight our urges, i drove with Trish and she drove with Matt.....i only ever saw her at the arenas..i missed her, so that night i called her.

"Hello"

"Hey Ames"

"Oh hey Jeff what's up"She said quietly

"Um nothin much i just said id call, i havnt talked to you in a while..is everything ok."

"Yeah everythings fine, Are you still with Trish"Amy said

"Yeah....i....i am, but shes not you Ames"

"Dont Jeff...this is too hard, i have to go"

"WAIT Amy!!, i miss you i only ever see you when you're in the ring anymore"

"But its better this way Jeff, You should be with Trish and I should be with Matt remember we talked about this."

"But Ames im in love with-"

"Dont say me Jeff please i dont regret what we did be we cant do it again...i dont want to hurt Matt."she said hanging up the phone.

I knew she was right but i was falling in love with her.....Amy broke her neck in 2002 and was out for a year, around that time i was feeling a little burned out from wrestling so i didnt renew my WWE contract, i needed some time for me,....a few weeks later i broke up with Trish, i just wasnt falling for her.  
probably because i was crazy about Amy.....Even though both of us lived close to each other i didnt see her for a while, but then one night at a club she was with Torrie and Stacy and i was with Shannon and Shane they were all in town doing some promotion tour.I didnt know Amy was going be there, neither did she.  
But i saw her........my heart melted she was so beautiful wearing a gorgeous black knee high dress, she froze when she saw me, we went over to her, Torrie and Stacy, i wasnt going to but i didnt need Shane and Shannon asking questions on why i didnt go over,As we were all sitting down a young woman came over and asked me to dance, i did and she was very pretty too, but i wasnt really into her, Amy acted like it didnt bother her that i was talking and dancing with this girl, but i could see the pain in her hazel eyes.I saw her get up from the table and leave, i stopped talking to the girl and went after her.

"Amy"I shouted chasing after her.

"Go away Jeff i dont want to talk to you right now!"She said walking further down the street

"Why whats wrong what did i do?"

"Oh come on Jeff what did you do????......you flirted with that girl right in front of me!!!, why Jeff was it to rub my face in it????

"No of course not, i wasnt interested in her, i want you but i cant have you so im sorry for trying to get over you!!!"

"Just go away Jeff"She said and i let her go.

"Hey Jeff wheres Amy"Torrie said happily

"Um she felt sick so she went home."I said lying to her i seemed to be lying alot lately.

"Oh well i think i should go home to her"Torrie said going for her coat.

"No Tor its ok i'll go, will you just tell Shane and Shannon im gone just incase they send a search party for me later."

"Yeah....but i think they're too drunk to even realise you're gone"Torrie said laughing

"Yeah i guess you're right Tor, well cya tomorrow"I said giving Torrie a hug and going to Amys.

I knocked on the door and before Amy could say anything i kissed her."Im sorry" I said leaning my head on hers. "I hate you Jeff Hardy"She said calmly "Why" I said hoping she didnt really mean it. "Because of how you make me feel"She said wrapping her arms around my neck.  
"This is insane isnt it."I said "Yeah it is......what are we going to do Jeff , we cant stay away from each other but we cant hurt Matt either"  
"I know.......listen lets not worry tonight......I just want to be with you."I said leading her into her bedroom.  
I woke up that morning and she was there lying in my arms,.... i knew, i felt thats where she was supposed to didnt know how lucky he was, he didnt appreciate who she was and how beautiful she is.....i did...i yet somehow he was the one she was marrying.........

Shes putting on her dress, i cant help thinking this should be my day with her...but it's not.....what am i supposed to do i love her, she is the only one i have ever finally broke up in 2004....we were in a relationship for four years and i could never tell anyone....we had decided to never tell Matt.  
"I left North Carolina that year and headed for Australia.....i stayed there for two years....and it crushed Amy.

"Jeff........where are you going"Amy said walking into my room seeing me pack my bags.

"Im leaving Amy."

"You're leaving.......for where?"

"Australia...its for the best...you know it is."

"No Jeff you cant leave me....i need you"

"Amy we cant do this anymore i cant do this to Matt, we need to move on."

"No Jeff you dont want this, i'll break up with Matt, i'll do anything."

"No dont break up with Matt, he needs you, he loves you....."

"I love him too, but its not the same."Amy said crying, god i hated when she would cry, i hated seeing her in i wanted to do is kiss her.

"Amy i have to go."I said cupping her face.

"When will you be back."Amy said grabbing my hand.

"When im not in love with you anymore"I said relasing her hand giving her one final kiss.

"Amy i lo-"

"Dont say it Jeff,....its hard enough already."

"I know........but i do though i always have Ames."

"I do too Jeff,......always....................dont forget about me Jeff Hardy.

"Never"I said hugging her one last time then walking out the door leaving her again.

It was different in Australia.....it was fun though, i wasnt on the road, i wasnt wrestling.....i had been told by Vince McMahon that when i returned to America there would be a job with WWE if i wanted it..........i didnt know when i would be back...i love wrestling so i knew id be back to WWE eventually...but it was nice to be able to relax and heal injuries........but damn how i missed Amy, i missed everything about her, her touch, her taste,  
her smell and her smile,...i wanted to be with her...but i couldnt lose Matt...even though i feel like id pick her over anyone....i know i would pick her.  
Shes the woman ive always wanted she's like a drug to me, im addicted to her, i just want more and more of her...thats why i left i felt like if i stayed i would eventually tell the world i love her.I tried calling her one night.

"Hello"Amy said

i said nothing i froze.

"Hello...who is this."

"Jeff is this you??"

"I know its you....please talk to me"

I hung up the phone....i was crazy calling her, but i needed to hear her voice...just to make it through the next day.

I had been on the phone to Matt alot while i was over, me and Amy usually made excuses not to talk to eachother but sometimes so it didnt look suspisious we had to talk.....it was awkward, but i loved hearing her night while talking to Matt he asked me if i had any girlfriends."Matt thats none of your business"I could hear Amy saying in the back "No"i said knowing it would kill Amy if i said there was.....i had met a few girls but nothing serious ever happened with any of them.

Everything was going ok until one day i got a phone call from Matt.  
"Hey Jeff howz it going"Matt said happily "Hey bro....its good whats up"  
"Oh i just called to tell you something"  
"Well spit it out"I said anxiously "Me and Amy are......well i asked her to marry me"  
"And"I said no way could she have said yes.  
"She said YES"  
"What!!!! Oh man congrats im really happy for you both, whens the wedding"  
"Oh next month......listen i want you to be my best man"  
"Really.........next month...man i dont know if i can get back that quickly"  
"Oh Jeff please try i want you to be at my wedding so does Amy"  
"Yeah im sure she does.....ok i'll come and yeah i'll be honoured to be your best man"  
"Oh thats great Jeff i got to go but i'll talk soon"

My heart sank, i was really losing her this time........i always convinced myself i was slowly falling out of love with her.  
but that made me realise how much i loved her.......i couldnt let this happen...but What about Matt??

"i returned 3 days before the wedding..........keeping my distance from Matt and had told me that Amy was bringing me to the tailors to get my suit but she had made the excuse of getting her brides maids prepared It was the night before Matt and Amy's wedding so they were both having seperate parties the boys went to Matts while the girls went to Amy's i was quiet that night not wanting to celebrate losing the love of my life to my brother, Matt and the guys were drunk and heading to another club but i decided to head home.I went back to my own house and got my stuff I hadnt unpacked as I didnt want to stay around too long after the wedding was over, I just couldnt handle this, it was too much to see her walk into a church as Ms Amy Dumas and see her walk out as Mrs Matt Hardy! As I was going to the door I stopped to grab a picture of Amy and Myself that I kept with me all the time. As I walked into my bedroom she was there...on my bed crying "Amy!! what are you doing here, you're supposed to be at your party!"I said "Well you're supposed to be at Matt's.......whats with the bag"She said pointing at the case in my left hand. "Im going back to Austrailia Amy I cant see this happen, Its just better if I go"I said turning away from her. "For who, you?....what about me Jeff?"She said "You're marrying Matt, not me, I wish things would have turned out different, if i had asked you out first, but Matt got there before me...I love you Amy but I just cant do this to Matt.  
please tell him im sorry tell him it was an emergancy ok." "Jeff, I wish things were different too, I'll tell him you had to go back ok?"Amy said crying hard. "It killed me that she was agreeing, but we knew this is how it had to be. "Thank you................Amy you know I love you more than anything right?  
She nodded "I love you too Jeff, more than anyone." I kissed her for the last time. I felt her tears stream down her cheeks, I wiped her face, she handed me the picture of us and then I left.

Amy Pov-

......................He left me.................and it tore me apart, I slept in his house that night just to smell his scent on the pillows, i was crushed I was getting married to a man i didnt love enough, and the man I did love had just left.

*THE WEDDING DAY"  
I woke at 7.00 and all I could think about was Jeff, I love him, Im crazy about him, I want to be with him, I had to tell Matt, I had to call off the wedding. I drove to Matt & Jeffs Fathers house thats where Matt was, I was getting ready at our house and he was getting ready here. I opened the front door to see Matt.......with Maria......he was kissing her. I was hoping he didnt see me, but as I walked out I heard him call my name. "Amy....wait I can explain" Matt said "I dont need you to explain Matt I saw it you were kissing Maria, I dont care If she makes you happy then go for it"I said and I meant it too. "But I want you Amy, I love you." Matt said holding my hand. "Well I dont love you Matt"I said heading into the house again to grab my stuff. Maria stayed away. "Amy I know you love me, you're just angry I can understand." Matt said walking after me. "No Matt Im not angry I do love you.........but you're not the Hardy im in Love with.....Jeff is."I said finally coming clean and it actually felt good to get it off my chest. "You're in love with Jeff." Matt said quietly. "Yes.......Ive loved him for a long time Matt, I tried to stop my feeling but he felt the same. "I dont believe you, you're just saying these things to get back at me." Matt said hoping he was right. "No Matt, we love each other, why do you think he left in the first place, it was because he couldnt see me with you, why do you think he was so quiet when you told him we were getting married Matt?...... it was all because he loved me and because he knew I felt the same. We never wanted to hurt you"I said crying. "It just happend." "It just happend Amy.....it sounds to me like you wanted it to happen"  
Matt said angrily. "Oh so what about you and Maria, Matt you cant say much how long has that been goin g on?."I said shouting back "That doesnt matter Amy you were fucking my brother!!!!" "Yeah and you know Matt what Id do it all over again, he treats me alot fucking better than you do!" I said and with that for the first time ever Matt raised his hand to me but was stopped by someone....................Jeff. "Stay the fuck away from her"Jeff said "Oh look Amy its my best man, my best friend oh and my brother its Jeff Amy the man you were screwing look" Matt said shouting at me. Then Jeff punched him. "You were actually going to hit her wernt you?, no wonder she came to me, Im fifty times the man you are Matt. Yeah we're together Matt I love her and Amy loves me, plus you have Maria, oh wait I think she walked out after you tried to hit Amy, I know she looks ditzy but maybe Maria wasnt as stupid as we all thought. I was supposed to be on a plane but I got a call from Maria saying you were sleeping together for two years, I had just left Amy because we thought it was for the best but you were doing the exact same thing Matt, I was stupid for actualy thinking I could live without Amy....but you have no choice."Jeff said grabbing my hand a couple of my things and walked out the door. "I hugged him, and he hugged back so tightly." "Im sorry for leaving Ames, I never should have gone without you....I wonder what everyone's gonna thing about this?"Jeff said quietly. "Jeff I know you're the risk taker, but just let me take the risks for once ok" I said smiling at him. "I love you Amy Dumas so much." "I love you too Jeff Hardy."


End file.
